Saturday, May 09, 2015

I don't even watch football

but Messi's skills are amazing, and this commentary is great:

Nevermind that Messi just nonchalantly dinked the ball over the best goalkeeper in the world; he just removed the batteries from Jerome Boateng and tossed him into the recycle bin. Boateng went down in a pile of misery like every man when he realizes that his girlfriend was really serious when she said she was done this time. Jerome is basically scrolling through Instagram and crying at every picture of her with the caption #GirlsNightOut.

This is an existential debate in soccer form. Messi brought the ball up and Boateng questioned the Argentine on the condition of the human soul. And Messi, without regard for the feelings of his fellow man, reminded Jerome that all things are meaningless in the end and that death comes to all men regardless if he is good or bad. As you can see, it plunged Jerome Boateng into such a personal crisis that his motor functions abandoned him.

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