Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Invention: The single hole diet belt

Stop the presses. I have just been discussing a neat invention with a fellow housemate and am offering it to readers at zero cost.

The idea is to produce a belt that looks like any ordinarily belt, save for a unique, special feature: it has just one hole. Hold on. A limitation as a feature? What gives, Zeek?

Here's the idea. Once you have attained your ideal weight, you give us your precise waist measurement and we create a tailor made belt for you with a single, optimal hole. With a single hole, you are forced to maintain your ideal weight. If you are getting too heavy, there is no 'move-up-a-notch' allowance and you have to step back on the eating. Think of it like stomach stapling from the outside.

On the flip side, if you are losing too much weight, you can't notch down and you face potential embarassment by having to constantly pull your trousers up, or risk having them drop to your ankles (although there is a good chance your trousers wouldn't drop all the way, in which case you may end up starting a trend for wearing your suit trousers in the fashion of a low riding, East Cost gangster).

The idea is a riff on my current system for bulking up using the simplest strategy possible:  I am eating loads more and exercising reasonably frequently. Instead of getting too scientific about the whole affair, all I do is look to my waist size as the feedback signal to tweak my diet/exercise approach: When I run up againt my regular belt hole, I know there is too much fat versus muscle and I use diet and cardio to perform a 're-set'. Then I continue with the heavy eating and exercise. I eat as 'clean' as possible but pay little attention to counting calories, other than making sure I am closing the day sufficiently north of the 2000kcal mark. It seems to be working as I'm up almost 3/4 stone in a matter of months.

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